Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
