And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We smell like vodka and hangover
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
