You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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