Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
