She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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