yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize