it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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