so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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