Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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