Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
