I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
