Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
