Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
