Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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