well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How external is "for external use only"?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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