it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
