He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
