You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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