I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's the barista slut.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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