I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
