how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
