Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

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(616): View more from Michigan

yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.

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(310): View more from California

Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...

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(707): View more from California

yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.

(1-707): View more from California

you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.

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(805): View more from California

I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.

(1-805): View more from California

I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.

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