the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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