The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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