I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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