Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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