Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
