This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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