She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
