I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
