I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize