p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
