My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
