Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
