i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
