after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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