Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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