I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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