Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
