Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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