Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
