I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
