You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
