this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
