oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
