He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
