I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
