I just pynch a tree in the face
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
