Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
