Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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