So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
