normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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