No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
