hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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