She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
