dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
