i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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