What did we do last night that was yellow?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
