Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
