how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize