I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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