For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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