I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize