Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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