The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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