States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
