I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
