I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
