If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
